Edgy, Bohemian Boudoir at Palm Spring Windmill Farm

Updated: Apr 21

- ANA -


Before:


"I had been following Jackie’s work for a while and I LOVED it. The pictures of real people that were sexy and beautiful without objectification. I decided to finally let her know I was interested and was totally surprised by how quickly she made everything happen.


In a month I would be posing in front of a camera, trying to bring out some sexy part of me which barely felt like it existed. I got so incredibly nervous and told my anxiety that it was still not happening (which I continued to reiterate until we parked the car at the windmills)."



"I didn’t even know where to start in terms of clothing and sent her all sorts of ideas. She helped me narrow down themes and I brought an arsenal and a half of things. I didn’t even tell my fiance about it until a week before it was happening because I didn’t want it to be real.


Let me try to explain why this was so difficult.

My family has always been the family that takes pictures during birthdays & holidays, but that’s it. The typical picture of everyone standing together, smiling and commemorating the occasion. Besides that, most of the pictures of me are my school photos. I became nervous asking to have pictures taken of me, especially if I wanted a re-take.


This past year, I realized that a few times already I had been reminded of moments that I had completely forgotten. I decided to have a New Year’s resolution to take more pictures. However, my fiance accidently made this worse.

At one point, I asked him to take pictures of me and asked for more than a few because I couldn’t figure out how to make it turn out well (I’m pretty insecure) and he asked if we could be done already.


He didn’t know, but this was probably the worst thing he could have said.

I felt defeated and I didn’t want to take any more pictures besides the ones I had to. He apologized endlessly and had tried numerous times over the rest of the year to take pictures, but I was done.

Messaging Jackie was something I decided to do randomly in a good mood, not thinking it would amount to anything...

...but it did...

...and I can’t explain how much it helped."



After: 


"I couldn’t believe Jackie set everything up and was so decisive on it.

After everything, it felt like a dream that I had to replay in my head several times.


I had a great time with her and it was so nice to talk to someone about how I have felt about these topics and myself.

It was therapeutic in so many ways.


I never do my hair or my makeup, so having it done made me feel really special. I am always so focused on school, my dogs, my fiance, and everything else around me that I rarely take time to do me. This whole day was about me, which felt selfish at first, but it was definitely a boost that I needed."



"I never felt any pressure to do anything I didn’t want to do and when I started posing for the camera, it went pretty smoothly. I didn’t want to waste her time with my nerves so I acted like I was comfortable, which turned into me actually being comfortable!


It was fun, can you believe that?"



"The time flew by and I had a blast!


The car had gotten somewhat stuck in the sand while we drove in and another photographer helped us out at one point. They were so sweet and I didn’t expect to see them again but they drove by our location to get out and it was funny to wave in my incredibly naked attire (something I would normally be mortified about).

We grabbed pizza and beer after and looked through endless pictures. I am proud to say that I made a lot of decisions (yup, I’m also very indecisive). I bought my little black book for myself and I am so excited for it."



"Honestly, I’m already trying to come up with more ideas to do another one!"